Let’s all laugh at Barcelona!

With news of Barcelona’s failure to pay squad wages in June surfacing yesterday morning, it’s a glorious day to be a Gunner. According to the BBC, Barca has had to take out a LOAN to pay their players in the sum of £125m. Excuse me for asking (and laughing), but doesn’t that loan seem to be a bit high for one month’s wages? Are you — the pathologically-lying, conniving, press-wielding junkies at Barcelona — sure you aren’t hiding a bigger financial crisis by strategically announcing it’s just “squad wages” for the month of June? Do you think we don’t realize that most wage bills for a YEAR are roughly £300m at big clubs like Arsenal and Barcelona?

Our celebrated captain, Cesc Fabregas, has been heavily linked with a move to Spain this summer, as one or two media outlets have (cough) quietly and tactfully reported, but now is the time to slam the final nail into that fantasy for the poor Catalan giants.

Cesc is staying with Arsenal

Arsene Wenger is a brilliant businessman; that can never and should never be doubted. He’s led our club to a decade’s worth of top four finishes, guaranteed Champions League football, and a competitive sustainability despite developing a new stadium, thinning the talent at the squad, and the massive influx of foreign cash from billionaire owners threatening our place atop the league’s finest. Arsene is a gladiator of pounds and pence, and his financial foresight is the reason why we never have to look over our shoulders to see if the mighty axe of the headsman is coming down on our club.

And it’s because of that fiscal responsibility and, dare I say genius, that Arsene Wenger would never, EVER sell Cesc Fabregas to Barcelona with this new revelation. Barcelona still owe Arsenal for the transfers of Thierry Henry and Alex Hleb, as most deals aren’t paid in full cash, but are split up into smaller payments that allow clubs to buy more and worry about the consequences of their shopping sprees later. With Barcelona’s inability to pay their squad wages (and, if the numbers mean anything, a much-deeper financial crisis forming in Spain), a micro-payment deal for the beacon of our club simply isn’t going to happen. Wenger is too smart for that. He’s too smart to throw an asset away for money that may never come (unless the freaking Spanish government is sued for it 10 years from now). And that’s why Cesc Fabregas is going to stay.

Sandro Rosell, Barca’s new club president, orchestrated the summer sales of Yaya Toure and copy-paste defender Dmitro Chygrynskiy for a combined £32.5m in order to help ease some of the obvious financial tension brewing deep within the club. Rosell, who’s picked up right where Joan Laporta left off in spouting nonsense to the media, claims that those sales have infused the team with immediate cash they can now spend on players, and that they have roughly £75m to spend on players this summer. Uh, Sandro, you’re new here, so I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You can buy all the players you want, and you’ve just bought David Villa who may be grumpy when you try to pay him in McDonald’s gift certificates, but you have to be able to pay their wages with actual currency. According to YOU, Barcelona can’t pay its squad wages without massive loans from “special banks” that know you’re totally going to repay them once your band makes it …

Do you see the paradox you’ve created?

We won’t be selling you our captain. No. Not without guaranteed cash. And that’s if we even care about cash (I don’t think we do, because Wenger’s financial posturing has put us in a delightful position). We hold the leverage, we hold the chips, and, frankly, we have no desire to sell him in the first place. We seek to strengthen our club, to build upon our club, to bring in new players that are going to infuse us with new energy at key positions and help us attack the Premier League next season in hopes of a title. Selling our best player isn’t a part of that plan.

Think about it like this: The transfer market is always about supply and demand. When the English national team fizzled out of the World Cup this year, the market for English players weakened as demand dipped. Supply remains the same, however, which makes English players a bit of a bargain right now. The same thing could be said in either direction for players from Argentina, Germany, Holland, etc. There are also high- and low-demand leagues out there that set player prices. The Premier League is a high-demand league, which is why transfers between English clubs are rather rare. However, transfers from low-demand leagues into the Premier League are as common as Barcelona debt. Arsene Wenger has made a financial killing off of the supply/demand game.

But there’s a third factor in supply and demand, and that’s club finances. If a club has mismanaged finances, debt, or just a complete lack of cash, those clubs are not (or, in this case, SHOULD not be) buyers. They are removed from the transfer market unless FIFA and/or the damn foreign governments decide to post-up the club with wood and nails. Arsenal, however, are financially built of iron and bronze. Yes, we’ve suffered and labored over the last five years to reach this point of financial freedom at our club, but that puts is in prime position THIS SUMMER to attack the market. Demand is low throughout the world for transfers, as most clubs have mismanaged their finances and slinked into smothering debt, but supply is extraordinarily high. The quality of players around the world, as evidenced by the parity of leagues and the fantastic displays at the World Cup, is as high as its maybe ever been. Arsenal are one of few to be on the forefront of supply and demand, and we can capitalize on that this summer.

Barcelona?

They have demand for our captain, sure, but we have no need to sell him. And, while Barcelona step into further mucky debt, pulling out (government) “bank” loans just to pay their wages, Arsenal are poised to govern the market and continue to do so for years to come. We reached this sustainability at our club by making smart, sometimes tough, business decisions about our football team. Wenger has another tough decision to make now, from the best interests of the team and our captain Cesc, but not from a business standpoint. From a business standpoint, the one that’s driven our club for the last decade, the decision is already made.

Cesc is Arsenal.